Mad Men (and Women)
This year, popular culture is awash in nostalgia for one particular era. The television series Mad Men has swept in the return of three-piece suits, fedoras, martinis, and, apparently, vaccine-preventable diseases. According to a new survey, younger doctors were more likely than older ones to believe that vaccines are not a safe and effective means of preventing disease in children. The researchers were unable to pinpoint the exact reasons for these beliefs, but I have a few theories of my own.
Theory #1: Proof. Some young physicians, being scientists, don’t believe in things they haven’t actually seen. I totally get this. When old-timers tell me something like, “Gas stations used to employ people who would fill your tank, check your oil, and clean your windshield,” I say, “Gramps, it’s time to up your meds again.” So when I look over my bifocals and say some old fogey drivel like, “Chicken pox used to cause 100 deaths and 11,000 hospitalizations a year,” I shouldn’t be surprised when a baby-faced resident subjects me to a mini mental status exam.
Theory #2: Smartphones. When I was in medical school and an epidemiologist was up at the board saying something boring like, “Haemophilus influenzae type B kills nearly 400,000 children a year worldwide yada, yada, yada,” all I could do to zone out was to make naughty words on my calculator-watch. Today’s medical students can whip out a smartphone and try to score some golden eggs on Angry Birds. Of course now students often attend class online, meaning they can just fast-forward through all those tedious infectious disease and immunology lectures. In my day we had to fall asleep on our desks in person, dagnabbit!
Theory #3: Conspiracy. Younger doctors have come of age in an era of cynicism and distrust. Who can look at the subprime mortgage disaster and not wonder whether the moon landing was faked, and whether the CIA assassinated JFK on the orders of the Trilateral Commission? Is it not reasonable to suspect hundreds of thousands of epidemiologists, physicians, public servants, and pharmaceutical researchers all over the world have secretly colluded for generations to convince people that children get “diseases” that “vaccines” can “prevent” “safely”? Once the Vaccine Adverse Events Reporting System throws out a red herring like the withdrawal of RotaShield, doesn’t that give the conspirators free rein to suppress evidence that other so-called “vaccines” do incalculable harm to children? I’d answer that question, but “they” might “get me.”
For those young doctors eager to see the future look more like the past, I have an idea: travel to Europe. There, vaccine resistance and refusal have led to a measles epidemic that caused 26,000 infections and 11 deaths just in the first 6 months of the year. France is in the lead for measles cases, meaning you can experience world-class art and be exposed to a dangerous infectious disease all in one trip! I would come along, but I’m too busy shopping for a snappy fedora.